D’oh! A Long Overdue Simpsons Quiz

 

How is this even possible? I was chatting on the phone today with Miss Lucy, the Queen of Atomic, when we discovered that we are both fans of The Simpsons. Miss Lucy said she had taken some of my oh-so-popular quizzes but didn’t remember the Simpsons one. I told her I’d send it off to her right away.

Well, I searched through all 1400 of these damn things and guess what? No Simpsons quiz. To be sure there were quizzes dealing with all of my other favorite things, like the Beatles, Howard Stern and at least three on Seinfeld, but somehow the Simpson got overlooked.

And so tonight we correct this egregious oversight. After all, I’m only here to please my readers, and if that reader happens to be a young woman so much the better. So without any further delay allow me to present my very first Simpsons quiz. This one, of course, goes out to Miss Lucy. And after this build-up I’m expecting a score of nothing less than a 90%, young lady.

1. Which one is not a Simpsons character?

      a. Sideshow Mel

      b. Lunchlady Doris

      c. Air Force Amy

      d. Bumblebee Man

2. What is Apu’s last name?

      a. Nahasapeemapetilon

      b. Nehpassapaatem

      c. Nupatahemisutt

      d. Smith

3. Which character is still alive?

      a. Maude Flanders

      b. Bleeding Gums Murphy

      c. Fat Tony

      d. Dr. Marvin Monroe

4. What breed of dog is Santa’s Little Helper?

      a. Dachshund

      b. English Terrier

      c. Bulldog

      d. Greyhound

5. How many eyes did the mutated fish have?

      a. One

      b. Two

    c. Three

    d. Four

6. What is Lenny’s last name?

      a. Carlson

      b. Leonard

      c. LaRue

      d. It’s never given

7. Which one is not a schoolyard bully?

      a. Jimbo

      b. Kearney

      c. Rags

      d. Dolph

8. Which character is based on Mike Tyson?

      a. Duffman

      b. Dreaderick Tatum

      c. Kirk Van Houten

      d. Ranier Wolfcastle

9. On which program did the Simpsons originally appear?

      a. The Carol Burnett Show

      b. The Tracey Ullman Show

      c. The Tony Randall Show

      d. The David Letterman Show

10. What are Itchy and Scratchy?

      a. A cat and mouse

      b. A dog and cat

      c. Two cats

      d. Two dogs

ANSWERS

1. AIR FORCE AMY is not a character on The Simpsons.  She is, however, a real-life prostitute on one of those filthy HBO programs. And if you knew that you should be ashamed of yourself. (Me? Oh, I just heard about her somewhere. Ahem.)
2. Apu’s last name is NAHASAPEEMAPETILON, and thank God for copy and paste.
3. Of that quartet only FAT TONY still survives.
4. Santa’s Little Helper is a GREYHOUND who lost his last race on Christmas Eve, causing Homer to remark, “He’s a Simpson.”
5. The mutated fish who swam a little too close to the nuclear power plant had THREE eyes.
6. Lenny’s last name is LEONARD, which is a pretty strange last name. Kind of a strange first one too, now that I think of it.
7. There is no Simpsons character named RAGS, bully or otherwise.
8. DREADERICK TATUM  is based on Tyson. He once said of his hometown of Springfield: “That town is a dump. If you ever see me back there again you’ll know I f&*$#d up pretty bad.”
9. The Simpson family first appeared on THE TRACEY ULLMAN SHOW on April 19, 1987. Ullman later sued the program, claiming that at least part if its success was due to it having appeared on her show. The judge is still laughing.
10.  Well of course you knew that Itchy and Scratchy are a cat and a mouse. Ah, but          which is which?   

So how did you all do? How about you, Miss Lucy, did you get at least nine correct? If not, you got some splainin’ to do!